I think you should know that I make up a lot of stuff in my head and then get sad about it. I like to sleep and I like to blog. I am going to die someday.
[does a little twirl as she shows off this pretty much perfectly made pizza that was in the oven just a few minutes ago.
look at all this cheese]
I'm putting my visions to good use. If my true name isn't mine, I'm claiming her cooking skills.
[ETA: I WANTED TO LET THIS SEGUE NATURALLY INTO AN IC INVITATION TO A SUBWAY RUN but I want to push this forward ASAP OOCLY to get things going so let's skip that yeeeeee
[NO SORRYS LIFE ALWAYS GOES FIRST I hope you're feeling better!!]
Uh-huh. She's very resourceful and has all the cooking practice in the world. The more I remember, the more my hands know what to do in the kitchen other than stab and burn.
[cutting a couple of slices]
In short, I'm stealing her skills. I can make pizza now. And sandwiches. And cocktails.
I don't know. I hear talk about them. People treat them seriously? Like Shura.
[ ... ]
Not much different? A sixth former with two younger brothers... I get the impression she doesn't like herself very much. There's a few I haven't seen, I haven't bothered after the fire one.
Edited (editing for cohesion cries) 2025-08-26 07:16 (UTC)
The thing about visions is that everyone thinks they know what they are, but no one really does, except for the members of the Awoken family, which doesn't exist anymore, and possibly the Ticketmaster. I'm more inclined to believe than to disbelieve them because I've been testing out a lot of stuff, but I think you've seen enough of the effect they have on people's bodies and neural pathways to know there's something true about them.
[PIZZA ON A PLATE. TAKE. she's bringing lemonade now]
Personally, I'm ready to fight for my control over this body if I have to. I take them because I'm curious and I want answers, but my priority isn't her. I'm my priority.
[lemonade. it's diet. we're set!]
...Anyway I can send you a few links to psychology videos if you want. No one needs free depression.
[ it's a really long considering ship because guess who's barely been told anything about what's going on. ]
... It's not like I think they lack merit. Shura's essentially screamed to the rooftops about his and I've talked to my brother a little about his. Everyone else's sounds insane compared to the ones I've seen so, so it adds to some level of realism.
But that's part of it - why invest if you're giving something up? Not you, I mean, but me.
[ hm, said as she squints at her like she can assess from here: ]
Have you learned anything about yourself or changed any?
I mean, I'm fairly sure our visions and us are AUs of each other that this experiment is trying to merge, so there's nothing to learn about myself there. But yes, I've caught myself doing weird stuff. Like choosing not to do things because they're "pointless" and not speaking my mind.
[takes a bite (it's good pizza)]
If you don't want to see your visions for whatever reason, you're valid. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The only problem I see with that is social. We're isolated here and you're judgy as it is, so you might end up with more depression anyway.
There is if you merge. [ Offered, putting down the drink to pick up the pizza. ] I can't imagine you not speaking your mind... How many have you looked at?
Wow, ouch. [ Completely deadpan at being called judgy (it's not wrong still!!!) chews ... she wants to say something about the depression, she doesn't.] What are yours like?
[it's ok to be judgy aya is loved the way she is!]
They have a historical flavor. My vision self is an apothecary and a servant of sorts, she was raised in a brothel but she's the daughter of an important military strategist. It's a mess. I've already remembered two different kidnappings.
Anyway, if you're not seeing your visions, you'll need a different motivation to survive in this place.
...
How do you feel about family history plots? The mystery of this ship? The annesiacs? The supposed monster that eats memories? The potential toxic romance between the Showmaster and the Ticketmaster?
I feel like rather I want to deal with any of that or not, that I'm going to have to. [ for a lot of reasons. ] And I guess - I want to stop people from suffering for no reason.
No, the trade-off from learning to cook is now I'll have more dishes to do.
I'm sure there's a reason for all this, but it's probably generational trauma from the big families and their bad decisions. If you want to learn more about that, you're officially invited to come risk your life for clues with me and a few other people.
... They wanted us to make someone give up parts of them to create balance in the world. Body parts or attributes, whatever we could think of? Shura took away its memories and it cried like it was the one thing it wanted to keep. Then he took its eye and ate it.
This girl carries the family's pain and suffering, and making her cry is part of the family ritual. So, generational trauma 101. We didn't complete the ritual but I gave her my shoes and now she visits sometimes.
Late 285
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I'm here.
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getting the door]
Ayaaaa. Come, come, see what I made!
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[ as she'll come in: ]
... did you start feeling ambitious or something?
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look at all this cheese]
I'm putting my visions to good use. If my true name isn't mine, I'm claiming her cooking skills.
[ETA: I WANTED TO LET THIS SEGUE NATURALLY INTO AN IC INVITATION TO A SUBWAY RUN but I want to push this forward ASAP OOCLY to get things going so let's skip that yeeeeee
tl;dr WOULD AYA AGREE TO GO Y/N]
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[ extra cheese. don't look excited because your tastebuds are back, aya. ]
... You get something out of the visions?
[ said as she follows ]
[ screams i'm sorry i've been sick/busy at work today but yyyyy she'll agree to go ]
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Uh-huh. She's very resourceful and has all the cooking practice in the world. The more I remember, the more my hands know what to do in the kitchen other than stab and burn.
[cutting a couple of slices]
In short, I'm stealing her skills. I can make pizza now. And sandwiches. And cocktails.
Re: Late 285
Huh.
I feel like all I'm getting is more depression.
[ this is perhaps, not inaccurate, despite the same way she says it in a way she would anything else,
watching coming closer to the table, look- ]
You believe in these visions?
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...
And what is your vision self like?
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[ ... ]
Not much different? A sixth former with two younger brothers... I get the impression she doesn't like herself very much. There's a few I haven't seen, I haven't bothered after the fire one.
1/2
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[PIZZA ON A PLATE. TAKE. she's bringing lemonade now]
Personally, I'm ready to fight for my control over this body if I have to. I take them because I'm curious and I want answers, but my priority isn't her. I'm my priority.
[lemonade. it's diet. we're set!]
...Anyway I can send you a few links to psychology videos if you want. No one needs free depression.
1/3
You don't say.
[ but more importantly (she's listening she swears): ]
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[ MORE IMPORTANTLY. DIET LEMONADE. HOW DID YOU KNOW SHE LOST HER TASTE FOR THREE DAYS CATHERINE??? (she probably told her at some point,) ]
You're my favorite person ever I love you.
[ a long sip of diet lemonade ]
Re: Late 285
... It's not like I think they lack merit. Shura's essentially screamed to the rooftops about his and I've talked to my brother a little about his. Everyone else's sounds insane compared to the ones I've seen so, so it adds to some level of realism.
But that's part of it - why invest if you're giving something up? Not you, I mean, but me.
[ hm, said as she squints at her like she can assess from here: ]
Have you learned anything about yourself or changed any?
Re: Late 285
[takes a bite (it's good pizza)]
If you don't want to see your visions for whatever reason, you're valid. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The only problem I see with that is social. We're isolated here and you're judgy as it is, so you might end up with more depression anyway.
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Wow, ouch. [ Completely deadpan at being called judgy (it's not wrong still!!!) chews ... she wants to say something about the depression, she doesn't.] What are yours like?
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[it's ok to be judgy aya is loved the way she is!]
They have a historical flavor. My vision self is an apothecary and a servant of sorts, she was raised in a brothel but she's the daughter of an important military strategist. It's a mess. I've already remembered two different kidnappings.
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[ to herself not that she's viewed all of hers, eating pizza as she listens. ]
For the era that sounds typical at least, but seriously - two kidnappings?
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Anyway, if you're not seeing your visions, you'll need a different motivation to survive in this place.
...
How do you feel about family history plots? The mystery of this ship? The annesiacs? The supposed monster that eats memories? The potential toxic romance between the Showmaster and the Ticketmaster?
Re: Late 285
[ this is aya's version of bullying, ]
[ ... ]
I feel like rather I want to deal with any of that or not, that I'm going to have to. [ for a lot of reasons. ] And I guess - I want to stop people from suffering for no reason.
[ and the above listed ones are for no reason, ]
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I'm sure there's a reason for all this, but it's probably generational trauma from the big families and their bad decisions. If you want to learn more about that, you're officially invited to come risk your life for clues with me and a few other people.
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[ she should hesitate or think longer on it, but curiosity kills the cat: ]
If I'm going to risk my life it might as well be for something useful. You'll need a straight-man.
... I didn't tell you, but they summoned the Holy Order to one of those performances and it was weird.
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Bring snacks if you have them. And you can't let Yue know I told you about the love hotel, his screams would put us all in danger.
What was that like?
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[ thinks about it. ]
... They wanted us to make someone give up parts of them to create balance in the world. Body parts or attributes, whatever we could think of? Shura took away its memories and it cried like it was the one thing it wanted to keep. Then he took its eye and ate it.
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...Ugh. That man is so over the top. When they called us, we were supposed to make our Forge person cry, but it was a child.
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[ no she's not ]
... what reason did they give for that? To make it cry?
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I guess that means she likes the shoes.